Apology

We always expect an apology for the war, bad education, loss of a loved one, betrayal, injuries, and many more which we may never receive. This is a heavy burden in life. A few days ago, someone pressured me for an apology over a misunderstanding. While the whole conversation made me irritated, in the evening, as I got the chance to reflect, it answered one of the greatest questions of my life: why do we even need an apology?

What sparked the thought was when I looked back two years ago. My niece — only four at the time — got furious when I accidentally picked up the calculator she was playing with. Although I gave it back instantly, she insisted on an apology. But I refused since she was done playing with it. Even though it was a cute battle between us, and took hours before she gave up (younglings are amazingly persistent, and they can go for hours to achieve their goals). How I saw it was only a child seeking attention, but that reminded me that expecting an apology can only be a personal expectation based on our perception.

Then I realized, not expecting an apology was always my strength. I never really needed an apology, and I only thought that I did. The fact that I’d accepted it or I would never get the answer, subconsciously pushed me forward. But I was blind to see it till today. Instead, I saw it as fuel for my anger and an excuse to procrastinate.

People do wrong in their lives, whether intentionally or unintentionally. And that sometimes might hurt others by accident. Some may fear the humiliation or never notice their fault, or we may perceive it as wrongdoing. Either way, whether they apologize or not, it is up to them, not to us. We can’t force them. Also, we should not apologize for what we have done right or what we believe we did.

Sorry is a word that anyone can use — by itself, it means nothing. I believe it’s our actions afterward that make up for our mistakes, or the words we use to apologize. Never apologize if you believe you did right, but do if you understand your mistake, cause that’s how we grow.